Sleep Softly, My Moon Cat

"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch."
--Leo Dworken

To Siah, my beloved Siamese cat…

I really hope I could agree with my friends whenever they tell me that you are in a much better place now… But you know how selfish I can be. I just can’t help but wish you’ll be here, beside me, forever.

I miss you so damn much… Your habit of lying in front of my PC while I’m trying to meet a deadline, fighting with me on who reigns supreme on the computer… You’re always the reason why my articles have “ghfdg7vdjfels” on them by trying to take hold of my keyboard…

God, I miss that and so much more…

Now I can’t go to my room without wishing you’re still alive, tapping me with your little paw. Just this morning I turn into an emotional ball of mess once again, expecting you to greet me, to follow me around… You never failed to do that every morning.

I love you, my moon cat… You know me in the way no human could ever know. You understand me for you were a silent witness to my ups and downs… You patiently listen to my secret wishes, tolerate my lunacy… You were the only one who I allowed to see me totally break down… You knew that at the end of a weary day, when I am just so done with words, that only cuddling will do…

You loved me… I like the “me” in your trusting eyes… And you let me love you. You made me your whole world… And I had never been anyone’s whole world before…

My only comfort now lies in the knowledge that you are no longer in pain and that you are now purring your sweet purr there in the lap of God, spreading smiles in Heaven.

I love you…. Thank you for sharing your brief but beautiful life with me…

Sleep softly, my moon cat…

Only In Your Reflection

I had a dream… In it, you were a cool, clear lake in the deepest heat of summer.

After long hours of watching, I saw myself moving slowly to your banks… In a movement as fluid, as impossible as being captured as mercury, I stepped into you and moved smoothly into your depths…

With your coolness enveloping me, I felt all my anxieties and disquiet sloughed away and swirled into the current to disappear… I drifted downward until I lay buried inside you, like a jewel from some treasure lost in a storm…

In your unmarred reflection, I saw myself… I ran my hand over to the curves of my face as if I were made of the finest silk… For it is only in your reflection that I see myself this beautiful, this happy, this loved…

How safe you were, how still and comforting…

It is here, deep in the warm interior of my dream that I belong… Here, in the soul of a man so sweet and deep and loving.