Dreams on a Different Route

(A repost from my old tumblr account. This one's for you, Gala...)

I used to chase dreams with thundering speed. I’d have a goal and drive straight to it without slowing down or changing directions.

As I was about to reach one of my biggest dreams, things happened that eventually made it impractical for me to continue on what seems to be the surest road to my destination. There’s no one to blame though. That’s just life, happening. Now, do “what ifs” torment me..?

Yes, they do. But leaving my car stuck in the mud would never get me anywhere.

And from that particular red light, I have learned the precious secret of detours and sharp turns. A world I’d never be able to experience if i stayed on the shortest route. This road that I am in never guarantees an easy ride but no one can say this is less fulfilling.

I’d still get to my destination. Perhaps not without damaged tires. I might even get lost every now and then. But you know what? That only makes this journey more exciting. I’d get there. I’d manage. :)

Happily-ever-afters

My parents make an exceptional example of what marriage should be like. They are the reason why I believe in Happily-ever-afters.. :)

The sweetest couple.. ^______^

Ady's Super Fun Day.. ^______^

Some scenes from my birthday celebration. 

To Mamsie and Paxie, I love you so much! You are the best parents any girl could wish for.. ^______^

To my cousins, Jaysem, Jaja-boom, Mela, Kim, and their partners, Emon, Paul, (and Kaiser? haha!)  thanks for making my birthday super fun! Most especially to Ate Ow, Timan, JunJun and Makto for helping me out with the food preps. 

To Kuya Duds and Ate Hahalyn, for allowing Baby Justin to join us in our pa-morningan party as he is my special visitor.. ;)

To Kuya, Ate Jennel and my pretty baby girls, Atasha and Chacha, you guys completed my day. Or should I say night? Hehe.. ;)

To Ninang and Kuya Boy for the sumptuous Banana Cake and Pansit.

And last but not the least, to Mac, for the cake and the design that says I'm only 21. You, you're the reason why I look 21.. Hihihi.. Mmmwaah!

   

Love you, guys! 'Til our next pa-morningan.. ;)

The Way I Am

"If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.
'Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.
If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

'Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

'Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am."

~~~Ingrid Michaelson lyrics

Hello, "Tita" Francis! xD

Found these old phone videos. First video was of my bonding time with Erin, my niece who was then three-years-old. It  was taken a year ago at Greenwich Pacita. The second one was during a brainstorming session with Essie and Nellie. I still find myself laughing so hard with Nellie's attempt to imitate Erin's "Hello, Tito Francis!" :D 

17 Years of Friendship.. ^___^

Para kay Talong.. ^_____^

Dream Wedding Daw.. xD

Dahil tinutulungan ko ang aking bestfriend sa kanyang wedding preparations, hindi ko din maiwasang kahit paano'y planuhin din ang mga gusto ko sa aking future wedding.

"NATURE". Yun ang theme na gusto ko sa kasal namin since mahilig kami pareho ni Mac0ie sa kalikasan. With that ay naisip kong gawing lime green and brown ang motif. Excited kong ibinalita ito kay Mac0ie.

AKO: Mahal!!! may naisip na akong motif sa kasal natin!
MAC0IE: Talaga? Ano?
AKO: Di ba hilig natin ang nature?
MAC0IE: Oo mahal. What do you have in mind?
AKO: Lime Green and Brown.
MAC0IE: Hmmm.. Gusto ko din yan! :D
AKO: Yeheeyy!
MAC0IE: Anu-ano pa po ba ang plans mo sa wedding natin, mahal?

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagdi-discuss ng dream wedding ko. Mula sa invitation ideas, sa aking gown, sa entourage, souvenirs. Siyempre, pati na din sa honeymoon. At dahil dream wedding ito ay napapansin kong pinagpapawisan na si Mac0ie sa laki ng magagastos namin kung sakali. Nang sa wakas ay tinanong ko ang opinion niya kung saan magandang ganapin ang wedding reception....

MAC0IE: Tamang tama mahal! Meron akong alam na lugar na Lime green and Brown din ang theme! Sakto sa motif natin.
AKO: (excited) Talaga?! :D
MAC0IE: Uu, mahal.
AKO: Saan???
MAC0IE: Dyan.. Sa bahay niyo.

** Acheche! **

Hahahha! mmmmmwaaaah! :D

Things that never fail to make me smile

-Nightly quality time with my Mom and Dad.

-The smell and taste of a good coffee.

-Early morning walks with Mac0ie.

-A look that excludes all else.

-Jelai’s and Ayin’s laughter.

-Meaningful conversations.

-Driving along Eton city.

-Childhood innocence.

-Sunrise and Sunset.

-Mac’s hand in mine.

-Being with friends.

-Writing a novel.

-Excellent food.

-A good book.

-Road trips.

-Ocean.

-Art.

-Music.

-Poetry.

-Rainbow.

-Full moon.

-Daydreams.

-Nice Ukay finds.

-People-watching.

-Strawberry shakes.

-Understanding people.

-Bonding with my cats.

-Two shadows on a wall.

-Singing in the bathroom.

-Photo shoots with Vhojie.

-My arms around my bolster.

-A compliment on my cooking.

-Patter of rain against the roof.

-Sitting on a grass on a windy day.

-Seeing an old couple holding hands.

-sessions with good old Basty, my guitar.

-The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry and Friday I’m in Love.

When Love is Not Enough

one of my articles published on Starbuzz Magazine way back 2006

You love him so much. You see to it that he can always rely on you in times of need. And you’re willing to do everything to make your relationship work. So how come it seems that all your efforts and sacrifices are still not enough? Why does it feel that amidst the cuddlings that you share, there seems to be the skeleton truth that something is wrong?

There are moments that he appears to be distant. Every now and then, his problems get the better of him and off he trails to an invisible wall—far from your reach. It hurts to constantly see him in pain. And it hurts even more, to know you cannot make it go away. No matter how you try, your love for him cannot battle with his inner conflicts. And eventually, you find yourself the one to blame for not being able to make him happy. The way he relies solely on you is affecting you too much already. You cannot help but hate yourself for not being enough.

If you feel like this, then you are missing the whole point. Open your eyes, the relationship is not healthy anymore. And the fact that he keeps turning to you to save him proves that he needs you more than he loves you. You know that.

You’ve tried your best and yet he’s still not happy. You still hold on, because you believe that if you let go, you will be taking away your happiness. But the question is, are you really happy? Or are you just scared that if you let go, he will fall apart?

Like him, you have feelings too. You have your own sets of problem to face. You’re not helping him by solving his problems. You’re only making him depend on you more. The more you do that, the more you’re destroying yourselves and the thing that was both of you. And what sense would that make? To ruin two lives?

Helping him but hurting yourself in the process, is absurd. Yes, love is giving. But it doesn’t mean locking yourself into the role of the “giver”. One can only do so much to help, but one has to also know when to stop and finally accept the fact that you’re not what he needed. And his happiness, the one you tried so hard to give him, will be best discovered without you.

Ang Ngiti ng Isang Ikakasal

Kahapon ay ikinasal ang pinsan kong si Joluz. Hay… Kapag tinitingnan ko ang saya sa kanyang mukha, hindi ko din mapigilang mapangiti… Ang sarap sarap nga talaga siguro ng pakiramdam ng ikinakasal. Yung tipong alam mong nandoon ang pamilya at mga kaibigan mo para makiparte sa isa sa pinakamahalagang parte ng iyong buhay. At siyempre pa, nandoon sa may altar ang lalaking sumusumpang mamahalin at aalagaan ka habambuhay, kesehodang maging lumba lumba ka pa o kaya naman magmukhang palad na ang mukha mo sa dami ng age lines. Hay, ang sarap malamang may magmamahal sa iyo ng ganon… =) (*kilig kilig*)

Naalala ko din tuloy nang bumisita kami sa isang matandang simbahan sa may Pila, Laguna noong isang buwan. Kasama ko ang aking kaibigang si Mac0ie sa mga bench na di kalayuan sa simbahan. Kasalukuyan kaming nagdo-drawing, (Hehe, siya ang nagdo-drawing. Ako, nagpapanggap lang!) nang biglang tumunog ang *dambera. Nalaman naming may ikakasal pala. At dahil likas na sa amin ang pagiging usisero at usisera ay pumasok din kami sa loob ng simbahan para tingnan ang ikakasal. In fairness, ang ganda nung bride. Nagniningning ang mga mata. At yung groom? Ah eh… Hayaan niyo na lang na ang usapang ito ang magsabi para sa akin.

Mac0ie: hahaha! Ady, bakit ganyan ang ngiti mo? Daig mo pa yung bride!
Gladys: (blushing) Eh kasi… nakakahawa yung ngiti niya. Parang ang saya saya niya… parang inlove na inlove…
Mac0ie: oo nga, no? (looks at the groom) Pero bakit ganun? Yung groom parang kanina pa pinagpapawisan? Ni hindi ngumingiti?
Gladys: oo nga noh! Hmmm… baka naman kinakabahan?
Mac0ie: pwede.
Gladys: pero anong dapat ikakaba eh wala namang tumutol nang magtanong ang pari? (thinking) aha! Baka napu-pupu lang siya! Hihihi…
Mac0ie: hehe, sira! Hmmm… Baka naman di pa sawa sa pagkabinata?
(a beat) hindi kaya..?
Mac0ie and Gladys: Shotgun wedding yan?
Gladys: hahaha.. tama tama! Kaya siguro ganyan yung itsura nung groom, napilitan lang!

Opo, mukha ngang napilitan lang si groom (yun eh sa amin lang namang palagay.. hihihih). Pero ano nga bang punto ko sa pagsusulat ng blog na ito? Sa totoo lang, wala naman talaga… kung hindi isang makulit na pagmumuni muni lang na:

Tulad ng pinsan ko at ng bride na itsinismis ko sa inyo, Ganun din kaya ang ganda ng ngiti ko at ningning ng aking mga mata kapag ikinasal na ako?

(teka, ikakasal nga ba ako? Hahahah!)



*dambera- salitang inimbento ni Mac0ie na ang ibig sabihin ay kampana. Hahaha! ^__^

mY sO-cALLeD-HaPpiNesS

You said you just want to be happy
and i can perfectly understand that...
It's what everyone wishes for, is it not?
...to be happy...?

But not finding your own happiness
is not an excuse.

It can never be a reason
for stealing other's...

You will never be happy
that way... never...

You may hate me for saying this
but you have to wake up now.

Believe me, you wouldn't
want to be in my shoes...
Once you feel the way I am
feeling now,
you will realize how the things
you did can actually destroy other people's hope.
Hope that had been four years in the making...
only to see it smashed into pieces...

When that day comes, you will know...
And maybe, by feeling the hurt that comes with it,
you will know better than to do that again.

You've had your moment
Now please let me have mine...