Maraming Maraming Salamat, Inay.

Maraming maraming salamat, Inay. Yan ang pinaka-una kong gustong sabihin. Dahil sa pagmamahal,  pag-alaga at pag-intindi sa aming lahat. Lahat kaming mga apo mo ay naalagaan mo. Sabi sa akin nila Mama at Papa, iniwan nila ako sayo noong maliit pa ako. Sobrang sarap siguro talaga ng pag-aasikaso mo, Inay, kaya nung kinukuha na nila ako, ayaw ko na daw sumama sa kanila. Laging bukamibibig ko daw ay “Inay. Gusto ko kay Inay”.

Habang lumalaki kaming magpi-pinsan, doon namin mas naintindihan kung gaano mo kami ka-mahal. Dati naiinis kami pag ginigising mo kami ng ala-sais ng umaga, paano ay puyat kami kaka-videoke . Pero mapapalitan agad yun ng saya kasi pagharap namin sa mesa, nakahanda na ang masasarap na agahan na niluto mo para samin. Madalas pag nagbabakasyon kami sa Quezon, inihahanda mo ang mga paborito namin. Tinadtad, inihaw na tuna, ginataang isda, spaghetti, dinuguan, laing, litsong baboy. Kaya naman nagtatabaan kami palagi tuwing uuwi na kami.

Laging mas higit pa sa hinihiling ang ibinibigay mo. Minsan, simpleng hamburger lang sa Jollibee ang lambing namin sayo. Pero sabi mo, baka magutom kami. Kaya chicken, spaghetti, softdrinks  at burger ang inoorder mo.

Kahit minsan hindi ka naging matipid sa pagmamahal sa amin. Kahit sa iyong mga huling sandali, kami pa rin ang naiisip mo. Hindi ka nagpa-alaga. Natulog ka lang ng mahimbing.

Maligaya kang nakikitang masaya kaming lahat at hindi nahihirapan. Ganyan mo kami ka-mahal.

Nang mawala ka, Inay. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ang laking bahagi namin ang nawala. Pero ngayong naaalala ko kung gaano mo kami minahal at kung gaano mo ibinigay ang sarili mo sa amin, naisip kong hindi ka naman talaga nawala... At hindi ka kailanman mawawala... Kasi nasa amin kang lahat. Marami kang na-ituro at naipamahagi sa amin na hindi namin makakalimutan.

Pangako, Inay, isasapuso namin ang mga pangaral mo. Mamahalin namin ang isa’t isa kagaya ng pagmamahal mo sa amin. Alam namin babantayan mo kami, Inay. Gagawin naming lahat para sa tuwing sisilipin mo kami mula sa langit, mapapangiti ka.. sasaya.. at lalong magiging proud. :)

Happily-ever-afters

My parents make an exceptional example of what marriage should be like. They are the reason why I believe in Happily-ever-afters.. :)

The sweetest couple.. ^______^

Ady's Super Fun Day.. ^______^

Some scenes from my birthday celebration. 

To Mamsie and Paxie, I love you so much! You are the best parents any girl could wish for.. ^______^

To my cousins, Jaysem, Jaja-boom, Mela, Kim, and their partners, Emon, Paul, (and Kaiser? haha!)  thanks for making my birthday super fun! Most especially to Ate Ow, Timan, JunJun and Makto for helping me out with the food preps. 

To Kuya Duds and Ate Hahalyn, for allowing Baby Justin to join us in our pa-morningan party as he is my special visitor.. ;)

To Kuya, Ate Jennel and my pretty baby girls, Atasha and Chacha, you guys completed my day. Or should I say night? Hehe.. ;)

To Ninang and Kuya Boy for the sumptuous Banana Cake and Pansit.

And last but not the least, to Mac, for the cake and the design that says I'm only 21. You, you're the reason why I look 21.. Hihihi.. Mmmwaah!

   

Love you, guys! 'Til our next pa-morningan.. ;)

From Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood

"I know I have a pretty good sense for music, but she was better than me. I used to think it was such a waste! I thought, ‘If only she had started out with a good teacher and gotten the proper training, she’d be so much further along!’ But I was wrong about that. She was not the kind of child who could stand proper training. There just happen to be people like that. They’re blessed with this marvelous talent, but they can’t make the effort to systematize it. They end up squandering it in little bits and pieces. I’ve seen my share of people like that. At first you think they’re amazing. Like, they can sight-read some terrifically difficult piece and do a damn good job playing it all the way through. You see them do it, and you’re overwhelmed. you think, ‘I could never do that in a million years.’ But that’s as far as they go. They can’t take it any further. And why not? Because they won’t put in the effort. Because they haven’t had the discipline pounded into them. They’ve been spoiled. They have just enough talent so they’ve been able to play things well without any effort and they’ve had people telling them how great they are from the time they’re little, so hard work looks stupid to them. They’ll take some piece another kid has to work on for three weeks and polish it off in half the time, so the teacher figures they’ve put enough into it and lets them go to the next thing. And they do that in half the time and go on to the next piece. They never find out what it means to be hammered by the teacher; they lose out on a certain element required or character building. It’s a tragedy."

--- somehow, reading this makes me sad.. :(

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?" --'Yan ang tanong na iniwan ng isang airline commercial.

Nakakalungkot.

Mag-iisang taon ko na kasing nakita ang patalastas na iyon.

...pero hanggang ngayon, wala pa din akong matinong sagot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3QYuSHz6Dk

Infinitesimal Advances

The need to look so far into the future is no more.

I can now walk with my tiny cat feet...

... enjoy these little steps,

infinitesimal advances,

… without worrying so much where I’ll find my smile.

a cameo would suffice

She can see the shift in his eyes and she knows:
He's in some other place without her again.

She wonders if she can have a "cameo" role somewhere in his mind...
perhaps of a ghost, rattling chains to get attention.
... Yes.
... even that, would suffice.

Hello Disappointment! I've been expecting you.

And although I do not often meet you
Or particularly care if you stay,
I'd be smart enough, this time,
to carve out a place for you in my heart.

Give up sanity and follow me.. ^__~

See me flirt with insanity time and time again on my Tumblr account.
Enjoy!

http://tulirongbukol.tumblr.com/

Hay Buhay..

Hay buhay nga naman... na-miss kong makinig sa Sugarfree.. ^___^




"O kay hirap din palang hanapin ang iyong sarili
Sa isang mundong laging nagmamadali
Sa kakahabol ay tuluyan nang napagod at napa-upo
Naisip ko nang sumuko.. Dahil nakita niyo na akong sumablay,
Narinig mo na ang puso kong bumigay..
Hay buhay, hay buhay, hay buhay nga naman"

Two Touching Commercials

I just would like to share with you two of the most touching TVCs I've ever stumbled into on Youtube.

FIRST TVC: "Funeral"

"In the end, it's these small things that you remember.. little imperfections that make them perfect for you."




SECOND TVC: "Gramp Chew" from Thai Insurance. ( this made me cry... )

Note to Self

Come on, Gladys. Don't just appreciate. Practice!

You said you want to be a writer? Is this not your free time? Well then, why the hell aren't you writing?

Reading books won't make you a writer. Dreaming won't make you a writer. Playing Restaurant City won't make you a writer.

Write.
That's what writers do.

Three Trains in One Night

Three trains have pulled out on me... all in one night.

The first train was not in my power to stop.
The other two had thrown me out of its windows.
... And I know I am yet to hit the ground.

I had been there.
And the ground had once provided me with a rocky surface..
cold and hard.. but had cradled me just the same.

The ground and I are friends now.
So there is nothing to fear, right..?

Taking Charge

I now understand that the feet that pedal this bicycle. . .



. . . is mine.

Burnout...

In the unutterable silence of this defeated moment, I could not face her marbled eyes.

For how can you explain the stupidity of an adult to the simplistic, innocent mind of a child?

I strove to find the right words to say to make her feel better... But I already knew in my heart of hearts, it would be in vain. Because I also feel her pain and the ache of all those years.. I knew none of the words I could come up with would ever be comforting.

... so I just held her for a long time, covering her eyes... shielding her from the pain of seeing a fire slowly burning out.. no words passing between us, just the wind and the chill that's slowly replacing the fire's warmth.

Doors Closing and Trains Pulling Out

(NOTE: I found this on my drafts. It was something I wrote when i was at rock bottom. Fortunately, a year later, i finally found my place in the world.)



I once had a life—a life where I was known to be an eternal optimist, a go-getter with a ready smile. I believed, with all my heart, in things like fairytales and happy endings. I believed that life, in all its goodness, would keep opening doors of happiness for me and for everyone.

Until that one day.

The one that marked my long and agonizing fall from grace… It had stretched itself out and found me lost, listless and wandering for months at the rock bottom.

With the help of my dear friends, I managed to come out of its doors. But that fateful day already took with it everything that I believed was real. My dreams, my prayers, my “self”.

I stopped believing in good things. No more fairytales, happy endings and welcoming doors. Happiness is a door I shudder to walk into because it seldom ever welcomed me. Maybe it did once or twice. But it was so rare and so long ago. It might as well be from another life.

Like an illusion—a bliss inconceivable, a shadow of my lost self.

Whenever I would convince myself to reach for its knob, there’s always the feeling of being accused of opening what I had no right to… I had been accused of so many things, had been subjected to malevolent criticisms and had been bruised too many times… too many times… I never seem to fit in.

After that day, episodes of my life had seen many doors closing and trains pulling out. I started accepting the fact that I’m wired to endless wandering, to just looking inside warm rooms from the outside… I learned to look at other people’s happiness and smile as if it’s my own. This, I do to create an illusion of warmth. For it is the only thing I can do to shield myself from the cold, heartless nights.

Liligawan Kong Muli Ang Aking Pangarap

Pasensiya ka na
Kung naging duwag ako.
Ilang galos din kasi ang aking natamo
sa pilit na pag-abot sa iyo.

Pagkakamali ko nga marahil.
Kung bakit ngayo’y ang hirap mo nang abutin.
Iniluklok kita sa napakataas na pedestal.
Hindi mo naman ito hiniling.

Pero ngayo’y buo na ang loob ko
Liligawan kitang muli… susuyuin.
Pangako, patutunayan kong
Ako sayo’y karapat dapat pa rin.